How to get along with introverts
4 min readTo outsiders, introverts may seem quiet or shy, but this just means that they can be themselves freely. Introverts tend to be thoughtful, attentive, and good at listening. This article provides some useful tips to help you get along with introverts.
Method 1:One-to-one communication.
It is better to be alone with introverts, rather than with a large group of people. If you really want to have meaningful conversations with introverts, it is best to choose a quiet private space rather than a crowded space surrounded by a large group of people. This way they will be more comfortable and easier to talk to you.
For example, if you are going to date introverts, they may prefer quiet restaurants and small-scale concerts rather than crowded and noisy concerts.
Method 2:encourage them to talk.
Encourage them to open up and share their thoughts. Introverts usually do not take the initiative to speak, and appear a bit quiet when socializing. Ask them how they are or how they feel from time to time. Ask some open-ended questions and give them a chance to speak.
Instead of asking “How are you doing?”, it’s better to ask “How are you doing today” or “What happened recently?”
Method 3:gives them time to respond.
After asking a question or making a comment, leave some space to make the other person feel comfortable. Introverts are usually not eager to respond or join the conversation, especially if the topic being discussed is controversial. This is true whether it is communication between colleagues, children or partners. Leave some space in the conversation to allow them to think slowly and respond without pressure.
Don’t ask the other party to respond immediately after asking the question. Count to 3 in your mind first, leaving some time and space for the other party.
Method 4:Don’t be afraid of silence in the conversation.
Introverts don’t mind the conversation falling silent or having a deeper conversation. Extroverts may feel that they have to talk about topics to fill in the gaps in the conversation, but small talk can make introverts nervous. Rather than trying to find something to say, it’s better to enjoy silence or go deep into some more meaningful topics.
If you want an introvert at a party to feel at ease, try to find someone they know to accompany them. Don’t expect them to join a large group of strangers.
Method 5:Learn to listen more.
Listen attentively and talk less. If you are an extrovert, you may be able to dominate the conversation comfortably, especially if the introvert doesn’t say much, you may feel that you need to fill in the gaps. But if you can listen carefully, the other person may be more willing to open up.
Repeat what they said to let them know that you are listening attentively. For example, you can say: “It sounds like you are having a bad day today. Can you elaborate on it?”
Method 6:use more text to communicate.
Choose to communicate in text instead of talking on the phone or in person. Calling or meeting people can make many introverts feel anxious. Choose to send text messages or emails so that they can relax. You may find that text communication makes it easier for them to open up.
If you are working with introverts, try to reduce the number of exchanges to avoid putting too much pressure on the other person. For example, don’t ask them in person whenever you have a question, but send your thoughts together in an email to the other party.
Method 7:recognizes their strengths and achievements.
Let introverts feel that they are affirmed and appreciated. Although introverts don’t like to be the focus, most people like to be appreciated by others, especially the affirmation from good friends. Specially praise or thank them for their good deeds.
For example, you can pull your introverted colleagues aside and praise their performance in recent projects, or let your introverted partner know how much you cherish them.
Method 8:reserve space for them.
Leave some space for them to relax. This means arranging a quiet corner for the introverted child in the bedroom or classroom to allow time for a partner or colleague to be alone. Staying in a quiet and contemplative space helps introverts to decompress.
If you and your introverted partner have been together all day, they may want to be alone for a while in the evening. This is perfectly fine, and they need to be alone to accumulate energy.
Method 9:gives them support.
Let them know that they can come to you when they are stressed or anxious. Introverts always have reservations, such as hiding their inner thoughts, feelings, and fears. Let them know that they can rely on you as a friend at all times. This way they will be more comfortable and relaxed around you.
Not sure how to approach an introverted friend or partner? You can say: “You seem to be busy lately. If you want to have a chat with someone, I’m always there.”
Method 10:Don’t try to change them.
Respect introverts and don’t ask them to become extroverts. Introverts have many advantages. They are good at listening, observing and focusing. Instead of asking them to become extroverted, try to recognize the advantages that their introverted personality brings.
Remember, there is nothing wrong with being introverted! If you don’t know how to communicate with introverts, you can try these methods.