How to avoid your favorite object
8 min readYou may need to avoid your favorite object for various reasons. Maybe they or you already have a lover. Maybe the other person is your colleague, or you know that the two of you are just not suitable for being together. Whatever the reason, you can take some steps to control your feelings in a healthy way. Read on for more useful suggestions!
Method 1: Avoid unnecessary communication.
1. Try to avoid meeting with each other. It’s easier said than done, and you need to consciously remember and do it all the time. If you and the other party go to work or school in the same place, you may not be able to avoid meeting each other completely, but at least you can take some measures to reduce unnecessary contact.
It is difficult to change, especially for emotional reasons. Be patient with yourself and start with what you can do.
You may need to change to another store for lunch or buy coffee.
If you always bump into each other while walking the dog, consider changing your route.
Method 2: Change daily habits.
1. Change your schedule. In addition to changing places, you can also change the time to do something. This way, you will not be forced to stop to say hello or communicate when you meet the other person. These actions are difficult, and even seem very sad, but you can do it.
For example, if you are used to exercising at night, you can change to running in the morning or going to the gym.
Changing habits is difficult, but this is the most effective way to avoid meeting them.
Method 3: Block them on social media.
1. Don’t read the posts they made. Keeping watching the funny photos they send will weaken your resistance to them, and it will also stimulate your feelings for them, causing your avoidance to be useless. Block each other on social accounts so that you don’t have to look at their photos or go to where they are.
You can even unfollow them. If you are worried that this will attract their attention or question, it is better to shield it quietly. Blocking the other party will stop seeing their posts without taking the pass.
Method 4: Set a clear boundary with your favorite object.
1. Don’t touch or tease each other. If they are also interesting to you, it will be harder to control your insensitivity, especially if you can’t avoid them completely in your life. No matter how difficult it is, use your words and deeds to make it clear that you are not interested in developing relationships with them.
If they take the initiative, you have to hold back the impulse and don’t respond to them. When they start to praise you and show interest in you, hold back your heart and don’t respond. If you work with them, you can say something like: “I hope we can remain professional. Thank you for respecting this.”
Avoid physical contact. Once you meet the other person, don’t touch them casually, so as not to let the other person misunderstand that you are interesting to them.
It is very difficult to suppress these impulses, so if you fail, don’t blame yourself. Cheer yourself up and try to get back on track.
Method 5: Focus on other aspects of life.
1. Do what you like and distract you from your favorite object. Cultivate new or old hobbies. If you want, you can take the initiative to take on more work projects in the company, so that you don’t have time to think about emotional matters.
Try new things, such as playing tennis or taking a drawing class. Putting your whole heart into an activity can pass the time and avoid your own random thoughts.
You can also take time to deal with things that you have delayed for a long time, such as cleaning the closet. No matter how difficult the period is, it can bring some gains to myself.
Method 6: Get along with family and friends.
1. Spend time with family and friends you love. It’s fun to get along with them, and it can divert attention. However, remember to avoid places where you might encounter your favorite object. [6]
Invite friends to embark on the road trip you have been yearning for a long time ago.
Invite mom to hike with you on the weekend.
Method 7: talk to someone you trust
1. Seek the understanding of good friends. It’s very painful to be emotional with someone you can’t or shouldn’t love. Friends may be able to help you deal with your emotions better. They may be able to give you some advice and the support you need.
You can say something like this: “I find that I have feelings for Xiaohua. I don’t want to really develop a relationship with him, but it’s hard to let go of this passion. Can you listen to me and discuss this with me?”
Make sure that the person you choose to talk to is trustworthy and will not tell anyone about you.
Method 8: Write down the consequences of interacting with the other party.
1. Remind yourself of the possible consequences. This process will make you uncomfortable, remember to be patient with yourself. You try to avoid your favorite object, perhaps because you know that being together is not a good thing. List the reasons why you shouldn’t be together, and let yourself clearly “see” these reasons, which may help to let go of the relationship. If you need to persuade yourself to stay away from the other person, you can look at the reasons on the list and remind yourself that interacting with them will only hurt you.
For example, you can tell yourself: “My relationship with Xiaohua will hurt Lili. It didn’t take long for the two of them to break up. I don’t want this to happen.”
Or you can think like this: “The last time I tried to date Xiao Ming, his words and deeds hurt me a lot. I don’t feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to experience that feeling anymore.”
Measure the disadvantages realistically. If you fall in love with someone you shouldn’t love, think about the harm you can do to your career, friendship, or family by interacting with them.
If you or the other person has a partner, remind yourself that doing so will hurt the other two people every time you want to see the other person.
Method 9: Don’t let yourself be thinking about each other all the time.
1. Try to divert your thoughts. Give yourself time to deal with emotions, but don’t let yourself be thinking about the other person all the time. You need to take the time to think thoroughly about this relationship, but you can’t let the other party occupy all of your mind. There is a difference between the two. From time to time you think that the other person is normal, but don’t let yourself be immersed in it. You should try to break this habit and help yourself to let go of this relationship. Whenever you find yourself thinking about them, admit that this is true, and then let them go.
You can think like this: “Well, I think of Xiaohua again. I now want to shift my mind and think about playing games with my friends.”
Set yourself a time limit. Tell yourself that you can think about it for 5 minutes and then let them go. Set a timer on your phone and observe the time limit set by yourself.
Method 10: List the advantages of the other person that attract you.
1. When you are ready to look for someone seriously, you can find someone with the same advantages. Even if you can’t be with each other, there is no denying that they do have the advantages of attracting you. Think about why you are attracted to them, write down these qualities, and when looking for new objects, treat them as the first condition.
For example, maybe they are very friendly to your pet. When you start looking for someone seriously, put “like animals” as a necessary condition.
If you appreciate the other’s professional ethics, find someone who has the same strengths.
Method 11: Cut off contact when necessary.
1. Try to get out of the predicament you are in. Although it sounds almost impossible, it is understandable. ] You are in a very difficult situation. You have tried to divert your attention and set boundaries. These actions are very good, but sometimes you may need to cut contact with them completely. Do not respond to their phone calls, text messages, or messages on social media.
It’s very difficult to do, so be nice to yourself and don’t be too harsh. If necessary, you can also rely on friends.
Method 12: Check whether your current relationship is healthy.
1. Check whether your needs are met. Sometimes, you may be moved by someone who is completely opposite to your current partner. This may mean that you want to change your current emotional state. Think about what the other person attracts you, and then think about whether your current partner lacks these advantages.
For example, maybe you like each other because they love music as much as you do. Ask if your current partner is willing to accompany you to more concerts. This may be able to meet your inner needs, and the goodwill that develops towards your favorite object will gradually fade.
During this process, your mood swings may be great. Tell yourself that no matter what emotions you have, it is normal.
Method 13: If you cannot cope, you can consult a psychotherapist.
1. Make an appointment with a psychotherapist to talk. It’s not easy to deal with the passionate emotions you have for someone, especially if you have to suppress your emotions and you can’t act on your feelings. If you are depressed or anxious because of this, consider seeking professional help. A psychotherapist will help you find a healthy way to deal with this situation.
If this is your first time seeking counseling, don’t be nervous. It may feel awkward at first, but you put your mental health first and do a great job.
hint
Thinking about all the shortcomings of the other person may be able to motivate yourself to stay away from them.
Be patient with yourself. This situation is difficult to deal with, be kind to yourself.