Identify people who don’t respect you

Feeling disrespectful can make a person depressed, and gradually forget that he has good points. Although we must maintain a positive attitude and try to think of others as good as possible, it is also necessary to understand the signs of not being respected by others, so that you can maintain your power and improve your self-esteem. This article will teach you to identify the subtle or obvious signs that you are not respected and how to get the respect you deserve.

Method 1: They do not recognize your efforts.

Ask yourself, do you feel appreciated? People who do not respect you will ignore your efforts. They may even rob you of your credit and achievements. You have your own value, and your contribution should be recognized. List your achievements and strengths. No matter what others say, you have to recognize yourself. Then, talk to someone who doesn’t respect you and talk about your feelings.
At the company, talk to your boss about your achievements. Ask them what they think about your strengths so that they have the opportunity to think about the value you create for the company. For example: “I want to know what do you think my strengths are and how I can use them in this job? My team has achieved (list the achievements) in the past three months…”
When facing a partner or friend, start with the word “I” to let them know that you feel that you are not valued. For example: “I cook every night, and you do not have a word of thanks, which makes me feel very hurt and a little disappointed.”

Method 2: They do not fulfill their promise to you.

Pay attention to whether they often fail to fulfill their promises or obligations to you. This is a sign of disrespect for you. When friends, bosses and partners are too busy with work or other things, it is understandable to break their promises occasionally. However, if a person keeps dropping you pigeons, it will hurt you and show that they don’t cherish your time or this relationship at all. First talk about the impact of their actions on you, and then ask them why they are unable to fulfill their promises or obligations.
If it is a friend or partner, you can say: “I am sad that I had to cancel the dinner again that day. Can you tell me the reason in detail?”
In front of a colleague or boss, you can say: “Did you read my proposal? I want to advance this project, but I must get your approval first.”
Show a strong and confident aura and let them know that you deserve to be respected. If you usually speak softly and softly, speak louder and speak clearly. Stand up straight and maintain a good posture. If you usually like to sit in the corner or in the back row, sit in the front row or in the middle this time.

Method 3: They will only find you when they need it.

Even if you can’t get anything, is this person willing to be by your side? You may really care about the other person’s life, but if the other person only cares about you when it is good, then the relationship is not fair. An unbalanced relationship can make you feel frustrated and disappointed. Limit the time and energy you spend on them, reduce contact with each other, and explicitly reject them when they make too many requests.

Method 4: They ignore you.

Avoidance or “shenzhen” means that the other party does not cherish the relationship. When someone ignores you, you feel sad or nervous. This is normal, after all, people are social animals. Ask them what happened. Maybe something happened in their lives that is difficult to talk to others. Maybe they deliberately excluded you. Ask them face-to-face. If you don’t ignore them, getting into the cold war will only increase your psychological pressure.
Explain the impact of this situation or behavior on you calmly and avoid making the situation worse. You can say something like: “I sent a text message that day to ask about your current situation, but you did not reply. This makes me very sad and worried about you.”

Method 5: They do not give you full attention.

When they communicate with you, do they not make eye contact with you, always stare at electronic devices, or multitask? Listening is one of the basic elements that constitute respect. State how you want to communicate with the other person, and let the other person know that you can wait until they finish what they are doing.
In front of a colleague or boss, you can say: “I don’t want to interrupt what you are doing. Why don’t we arrange another time to talk slowly?”
In front of a friend or partner, you can say: “I love you and want to spend a good time with you. Why don’t you put down your phone and have a good dinner?”

Method 6: They interrupt you.

Interrupting you with words is simply blatant disrespect for you. Your thoughts and what you want to say are very important. In the workplace, tell the other person in advance what you are about to say, and ask them to ask questions or comments after you have finished speaking, to prevent them from interrupting you in the middle. If you are a friend or partner, you can start a one-on-one conversation with them in a private place and tell them your findings and feelings.
In the workplace, you can say something like this: “I want to tell you some of my thoughts on this project. After I finish speaking, I hope to hear your opinions.”
In the face of a friend or partner, you can say: “I noticed that you sometimes interrupt me. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but there is no way to finish what I have to say, and it makes me feel very frustrated.”
If you don’t want to face-to-face confrontation, you can implicitly express your expectations to a group of people: “Let us pay more attention when we speak to make sure that everyone has the opportunity to express their ideas.”

Method 7: They reject you and your ideas.

Pay attention to verbal and nonverbal repulsive behavior. Some people who disrespect you may often oppose your ideas or proposals, especially in front of other people. They may even roll their eyes or laugh when you speak. It is their loss for them to reject you, and it does not mean that your ideas are bad. When someone rejects you, you must fight back and defend yourself bravely.
Stand on your ground, reiterate your opinion, and explain the reason: “Listen to me. I think this idea works because…”
Remind the other party of your value and qualifications: “The performance of the project I was responsible for last time was much better than expected, so I think we should also try to do this this time.”

Method 8: They don’t respect your boundaries.

People who respect you will not ignore your rejection. People who disrespect you may tentatively violate your boundaries in various small places. For example, even if you say that you don’t want to go out that night, they still plan a date. Giving you a derogatory title is also a violation of your boundaries. Make it clear what you need and don’t need in this relationship, and understand that you have the right to refuse.
In the workplace, clearly state your workload or problems, and propose alternatives: “Thank you for giving me this opportunity. However, the new product line I am responsible for is about to be launched. You can wait until next week’s promotion meeting to find me. Talk about it?”
In personal life, express your needs honestly but firmly. Try to find a compromise: “I also want to spend more time with you, but to be honest, I am busy at work and I am too tired on weekends. Why don’t we arrange to go out every two weeks?”

Method 9: They belittle you.

Pay attention to abusive or derogatory language. Make it clear that you don’t like the other person saying this to you. If you encounter this kind of disrespectful behavior in the workplace, school or organization, you must report these derogatory comments to the personnel department or your boss.
You can say: “Every time you call or say me like this, it makes me feel disrespected. Please stop this behavior.”

Method 10: They are angry with you.

People who don’t respect you won’t care how you feel. They may always berate you or blame you for their problems. Everyone gets angry occasionally, but a healthy relationship does not involve physical violence, coercion, or intimidation. Regardless of whether the person is your supervisor, partner, friend or other relationship, you should be respected and safe.
Keep calm and don’t yell and make things worse.
Appease them and let them know that you heard what they said: “It sounds like you want me…”
If you can fight back while keeping yourself safe, tell the other person that you will not accept certain behaviors: “When you yell at me, I can’t talk to you well.”
If this disrespectful behavior continues, consider resigning or ending the relationship. You will find people who know how to cherish and respect you.

Method 11: They stop talking when they see you coming in.

Repelling you from joining the conversation is also a clear sign of disrespect for you. This behavior excludes you from the group and deliberately leaves you without a sense of belonging. However, you are indeed a member of this group. Try to build a good relationship with the people around you, let these rude people know that you deserve to be respected. If this kind of disrespectful behavior continues or gets worse, you must tell the organization or your boss, because it may become a more serious problem of discrimination or bullying.
If you have no way to report the other party’s differential treatment, at least find an “ally” who respects you and can help you defend yourself.

Method 12: You are always the one who actively apologizes.

When two people are at fault, pay attention to whether the other person is often responsible. Whenever there is a misunderstanding or conflict between two people, taking partial responsibility means that you cherish the relationship. If you really did something wrong, of course it’s okay to apologize. However, if you find that the other party rarely apologizes, then you can’t always take all the responsibilities.
Ask yourself: “What kind of message does my apology convey? Does it convey good intentions, or does it devalue my existence and value because of the additional responsibility?”

Method 13: Being with them makes you feel exhausted.

After each meeting with the other person, check your own situation. how do you feel? Even if you can’t clearly point out how someone disrespects you, the subtle discomfort when getting along can make you physically and mentally exhausted. When this friendship or love becomes unhealthy, consider being separated from a friend or partner for a period of time. If you can’t get rid of this situation, especially in the workplace, then make time to get along with people who can cheer you up and reinvigorate you.
Ask yourself: “This person always makes me feel good about myself, or does I feel bad?”