How to decline a colleague’s appointment invitation

Do you suspect that the colleague next to you is about to start chasing you, or the other party has already put forward a date invitation and is eagerly waiting for your reply? How can we refuse them without being hurt and kindly? Although it may be a bit embarrassing right now, it’s usually just to refuse. As long as you maintain a professional, understanding and clear attitude, there should be no problems. If you want to know how to reject a colleague without affecting your career, then read on!

Method 1: Express gratitude to them.

First of all, thank them for the date invitation and avoid hurting their feelings. This is not to make the other person feel that he has a chance, but to let him relax and complete the exchange easily. When you start a conversation in a positive atmosphere, the other party is less likely to react negatively because of rejection. If you make them feel despised or humiliated, it may be difficult to work with each other in the future. You might say:
“You take the initiative to ask me out, I am really flattered. But…”
“I never knew you thought so. Thank you very much, but…”
“You are so gentle, thank you for making me feel needed. But…”

Method 2: Reject the other party politely.

Reject the other side amicably. Reject the other person gently and politely, and show that you will not date him without hurting your amiability. Use “I” as the beginning to express your feelings, and don’t let the other person think that the problem is with them. This should reduce the chance of conflict. you can say:
“I hope our relationship can be maintained at the colleague level.”
“I’m sorry I have to decline your date invitation. I am not yet ready to fall in love.”
“It’s not your problem, it’s that I am not ready to fall in love myself.”
“I really cherish our friendship and hope to keep it going.”

Method 3: Explain why you don’t want to date.

Giving them a specific reason may make the rejection easier. If the other party muster up the courage to ask you out, it would be uncomfortable to be rejected for no reason. Giving them a brief explanation may soothe their emotions and solve the problem faster. You could say:
“I know it sounds silly, but office romance violates company regulations. I really cherish this job and don’t want to risk losing my job and associate with colleagues.”
“I am worried that love will affect my career, so I am not ready to fall in love yet.”
“I had an office romance at my last company, but other employees kept talking and spreading rumors. So, I don’t want to associate with colleagues anymore.”

Method 4: Emphasize that the problem is not on them.

Sooth their emotions and let them leave peacefully. Unless they are rude and rude, you have no reason to hurt their self-esteem. Give them some compliments that have nothing to do with love, so that they can leave with their heads raised with pride. Don’t hurt their feelings, so as not to affect the relationship between your colleagues. You can say something like this:
“You are really gentle and kind. You are a very good friend and I like to chat with you at the company. I’m sorry I can’t agree to your invitation.”
“I know this is not what you want to hear, but I really hope it will not affect our work. Thanks to you, our team can always deliver better results than expected.”
“You are the smartest person I have ever worked with. I really hope I can maintain this working relationship forever.”

Method 5: If they can’t accept it, find an excuse.

If they seem to be unable to accept your rejection, give an unassailable excuse. The most important thing is not to let them think that you might change your mind in the future and that you still have a chance. In addition, you also need to remember the excuses you give. For example, if you pretend that you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, don’t say that you are single in small talks with other colleagues in the future. In any case, making an excuse at a critical moment can help you get rid of the entanglement of your colleagues. You could use something like:
“I already have a boyfriend (or girlfriend) who talks about marriage and I’m really sorry.”
“There are too many things happening in my life now. I can only focus on myself and have no time to think about love.”
“The last relationship hurt me so much, and then I vowed to stay single for the rest of my life.”

Method 6: Maintain a professional attitude at all times.

No matter what happens, you must maintain a professional tone and quality. When the other person starts to say something sharp, mean, or loses his composure, don’t be irritated by them. Remember, if your reaction is too violent, you may run into trouble at work. Although you don’t owe this person anything, there is no need to be patient with them, but even if the other person has lost his calmness, you’d better keep a professional attitude as much as possible.
This is especially important if the other party asks you out at the company. Don’t make a big noise in public. If the other person has lost their calm, regardless of whether they will lose their job, just let them go. You can leave or find a manager at any time.
If they seem to be crying or unable to accept the rejection, emphasize again that the other person is a great person and they don’t have any problems. The most important thing is to maintain a professional attitude, but not to give the other party any hope, thinking that there may be a chance to be with you in the future.

Method 7: If the other party does not respect your wishes, you must stand firm.

If they come to meet you again next week, reiterate your position gently but firmly. Some people just don’t understand other people’s suggestions. If they come to ask you out next time, it is clear that the other party has crossed the line. Be polite and friendly, but let the other person know that you don’t like them to ignore your wishes. you can say:
“I’ve already said that I just want to keep a colleague relationship with you. Please don’t ask me again.”
“I don’t want to hurt your feelings or self-esteem, but you need to stop all of this. I don’t want to date you. This is not for you, but stop here, don’t do anything extra.”
If the situation worsens or they cannot understand you, it is recommended to go to the Human Resources Department or your supervisor.

Method 8: Ignore the other party’s flirting.

If they continue to test you in the future, it is best to ignore them and not respond. Some people will attack you again in a few weeks or months after being rejected, to test whether you will change your mind. Don’t respond to the other person, so as not to misunderstand them. Ignore all flirting behaviors of the other person. Be kind, but don’t be too kind, so as not to misunderstand them.
If they smile at you from across the room, smile calmly and look elsewhere. If they compliment you for the hairstyle you just cut, say thank you, and then continue doing what you have at hand. The other party should understand your hint.
This trick is only effective for vague and non-malicious flirting behaviors. If they openly say something blatant, touch you or make you feel uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to report them to the Personnel Department immediately. They have crossed the line, and you don’t need to care about their feelings.

Method 9: If you accidentally agree to each other, then turn the date of the two into a group trip.

You accidentally agreed to go out together, they insisted that this is a date, then turn it into a group activity! If you agree to the other party before reacting, or misunderstand their intentions, you may end up in a tricky situation. In their view, you obviously agreed to the date and then repented, which may make the situation more complicated. It’s better to ask a group of colleagues to participate together and turn it into a social event after get off work.
When the other person asks, just say that you think this is just a normal social event. Tell them that if you knew it was a date, you wouldn’t agree to an invitation at all.
This method can only work if the other party does not specify the nature of the date. For example, they just casually ask you if you want to have a glass of wine together after get off work. If they made it clear that it was a date and you agreed on the spot because you were too nervous, then try your best to take back what you said before and explain that you were too anxious at the time and agreed without hearing clearly.

Method 10: Keep in mind the risks of office romances.

When you are hesitant, remind yourself of the risks that an office romance might face. Office romances are quite troublesome. When two people start dating, it can be very embarrassing to work together after a fight. If you break up, you may feel uncomfortable if you look up and see each other in the company every day. What’s worse is that the boss doesn’t know it. If you accidentally violate the company’s rules, you may lose your job.
It is especially dangerous to fall in love with someone in the company whose position or power is above you. It is never a good idea to fall in love between the superior and the subordinate. After all, the power of the two is not equal, and there will be some very unhealthy relationship dynamics.

hint

Office romances are feasible in some situations. For example, no one party has power over the other in the workplace, two people are in different departments, and the company does not prohibit office romances. Be careful and reveal the relationship between the two to your manager before going further.

warn

When you start to suspect that what the other person is doing is considered sexual harassment, it is definitely sexual harassment. If you feel uncomfortable in the company or a colleague has crossed the line, report the other party directly to the personnel department.