How to approach a girl in a crowd at a bar
5 min readSeeing a girl in a bar that appeals to you, want to go up and strike up a conversation but dare not? Seeing her having fun with a group of friends makes you even more timid? But you don’t want to miss this opportunity, what if she ends up being the very special person in your life? Whenever you want to approach a woman, even if she is not interested in you, be polite and respectful. More importantly, don’t listen to any “talking up” routines on the Internet, and beware of going astray. The following will give you some suggestions on how to approach her in the crowd in a healthy and respectful way.
Method 1: Make eye contact with her
Eye contact can let her know that you want to talk to her. Before approaching her, glance at her and try to make eye contact with her. Don’t stare at her or stare at her for a long time, otherwise it may make the other person feel creepy. Take a glance, make eye contact with her, or smile slightly, and then continue to chat with your friends.
If the eye contact makes her uncomfortable, or her back is facing you, it is likely that she is not interested in you.
Method 2: Walk over and say hello to everyone
A simple greeting is actually much better than cheesy routines or superficial compliments. Walk into the crowd, say “Hi”, and then introduce yourself. You have to say hello to everyone, don’t just stare at the girl you are interested in. Saying hello to everyone can make a good impression.
You can say something like this: “Hello ladies, my name is Li Ming. Are you still having fun?”
Be sure to approach a girl from the front so she can see you walking towards her. Walking from behind can be scary and feel threatened.
Method 3: Encourage everyone to participate in the conversation
You have to win the favor of this group of people, not just the girl you like. You have to talk to this group of people, or different people in this group of people. If you only pay attention to this girl, her friends may feel uncomfortable and will not accept you to join the group.
For example, let everyone introduce themselves, don’t just focus on one person.
Method 4: practice polite body language
Show that you care without offending the other person. Stand closer to the crowd so that you look interested and feel willing to talk to them. But don’t get too close, so as not to invade their private space. Don’t make a fist with your palms, keep your head up so that you look relaxed and approachable.
Don’t embrace your arms when touching them. This will make you look distant.
Method 5: confident but not arrogant
There is a difference between self-confidence and arrogance. If you can feel this boundary, then you can intersperse some moderate-scale jokes or heartfelt, non-superficial appreciation when talking. Be yourself and don’t be too deliberate. Try to let the original you shine in front of her.
There is no “rule” to show your confidence. If you are a very humorous person, try to make the girl and her friends laugh. Be careful to avoid topics such as politics and religion.
If you are more reserved by nature, you can show your self-confidence by talking to girls.
Method 6: invite friends to join
The company of friends can relieve your stress. They can talk to each other’s friends, and you can focus on the person you like. If everything goes well, and the girls not only did not ignore you, but also looked very interested, then greet your friend and let him join you and this group of people.
When inviting your friends, you can say to them like this: “I really want to introduce one of my friends to you, his name is Yang Yang. He is there.” Then send a signal to Yang Yang and let him come over!
Method 7: turn your attention to her
Try to flirt with her in subtle and charming ways. Give her a smile and keep making eye contact when you speak. At the same time, try to take up more space when talking. Research shows that this is an effective, nonverbal way of flirting. In addition, praise is also a good choice.
You can say: “You look so beautiful tonight.” or “I am so lucky to meet you tonight.”
Method 8: buy her a drink
In this way, it is clear at a glance which girl you are interested in. Ask politely if you can buy her a drink. If she says no, don’t argue, don’t force her. It is normal for girls to refuse drinks from strangers. Because in the bar, there are many scumbags who secretly add medicine in their wine.
Try to say: “What are you drinking, Margarita? Can I buy you a round?”
You can also take the initiative to buy drinks for her friends. If they say yes, ask them what they want to drink. If they say no, then you also save money.
Method 9: try to get rid of the crowd
If the conversation goes well, talk to the girl alone. See if there is anything you can play in the bar, such as billiards, darts or other bar games, and ask her if you want to try it together. If the bar is too noisy and you cannot hear each other clearly, ask her if she would like to find a quiet corner to chat.
Try saying: “Do you like billiards? I just noticed that there is a table over there. Would you like to play a game with me?”
Or, you can say: “I really want to chat with you for a while, but I can’t hear you at the bar. Should we go to the table over there and sit for a while?”
Method 10: If the interaction is depressing, just give up
It is difficult to deal with a group of girls, and sometimes leaving is the best choice. If the conversation becomes awkward or even silent, wish them a good time and leave. If this girl is interested in you, she will find a way to chat with you.
Remember, not everyone goes to the bar for an amorous encounter. They may be reuniting with close friends, celebrating something special, or comforting a friend who has broken up.
Whenever a girl says “no” to something, you have to respect her. If someone says “no”, it means “no”, which is straightforward and simple.